Make Me Wanna Die
by BeColourful
Summary: Felicity Marriott is a girl from District 4 who just wants to get out of the 73rd hunger games alive. With the help of her mentor Finnick Odair, she might just be able to. [Takes place before the hunger games trilogy and during] Finnick/OC
1. Chapter 1

A/N: New story! Been majorly inspired :3 Not sure on the title, torn between Make me wanna die and Reckless :/ don't forget to review! :)

Chapter 1:

I watched with growing trepidation as Marigold Fairbain reached into the large glass bowl onstage and picked up the first slip of paper that her fingers brushed. Everyone seemed to be holding their breath as she unfolded the paper painfully slow.

"Felicity Marriott" she said, her blue lips stretching into a smile.

I drew in a quick breath before stepping forwards. I let no emotion show on my face as I walked up to the stage and stood beside Marigold, ignoring her outstretched hand.

Looking around I saw the faces of my four older brothers out in the crowd, their teeth gritted angrily and I knew they wished that they could volunteer on my behalf. It didn't matter though. All that mattered now was the games. I breathed in deeply through my nose and out through my mouth, letting my tense shoulders relax and even letting a small smile play around my lips.

I would not let anyone know that I was afraid.

Jace Lovett was chosen for the boys. He was a year older than me, muscled and tanned like many of the boys in District 4. We shook hands, smiling at each other briefly before being shunted into the Justice Building behind us, leaving behind a deafening silence.

No words were exchanged as we were taken to separate rooms to wait for our families to say goodbye. I barely had time to look out of the window of the room when my brothers burst in, my mother following closely behind.

Keenan tackled me first. He was a year older than me, the closest to my age. I accepted his tight hug willingly, breathing in his scent. It made me want to cry.

"You can win" he said through gritted teeth, hugging me tighter. "I know you can win"

"Thanks" I choked out, releasing my grip on him and turning to our older twin brothers, Caius and Rowan. They were both too old to be entered for the hunger games any more and had luckily never been chosen, I was the first.

The pair engulfed me in a hug at the same time, they do everything together so this was not out of the ordinary.

My siblings and I shared a lot of similarities, we all had blonde hair - closer to gold in colour than anything. We all had shockingly bright blue eyes as well, we inherited those from our mother. However our facial features differed in ways you'd expect for boys and girls.

The angles of my face were a lot softer than my brothers and my nose was small and dainty whereas Keenan and Caius had inherited my father's sharp nose. Rowan's nose was longer than the rest of us, we suspected he looked more like our uncle.

I hugged them back fiercely before turning to my mother who threw herself on me, sobs wracking her whole body. I cooed at her softly, letting a couple of traitor tears slide down my face and into her honey blonde hair as I pressed my face into her shoulder. We were the same height.

"It's okay, I'll be back before you know it" I said softly, sniffing and wiping my eyes. She nodded and closed her hand around my wrist, around the bronze bracelet that I wore.

"Keep it with you" she said pleadingly. The bracelet was a bronze feather that was linked around my wrist with a matching chain. It was the only gift my father had been able to give me before he had died out at sea.

"I will" I promised before the peacekeeper opened the door and looked pointedly at my family. One quick, final round of hugs and the five of them were gone and I was being taken to a car to the train station.

I ignored Marigold's never ending stream of comments until we were on the train. I was too deep in thought about the days to come. District four was a career district, but none of my family had ever attended the academy. We went to a normal school and learnt basic maths and english. We learned how to fish and swim in our free time. I knew that Jace had gone to the academy and that he would be in alliance with the tributes from Districts one and two. It was natural.

I let out a sigh and played with the ends of my hair, a habit that I had gotten into as a child and never grown out of. My brothers and I play fought and wrestled, but it wasn't anything like what the kids at the academy were taught. I didn't know how to kill someone. I didn't know if I could.

I chewed on my lower lip and pulled all of my hair over one shoulder, plaiting some of it into little fishtail braids absentmindedly. The careers may let me join their alliance regardless of my lack of training. I was fast, I was like a fish in water and I knew I could wrestle pretty well. Having four older brothers does have some perks.

I came back to reality with a thump as a hand with long, dangerous looking nails was waved in front of my face.

"Felicity, Felicity, are you even listening?" Marigold sounded exasperated.

"No" I said honestly, breaking out of my reverie and focussing on her "sorry."

She sighed and shook her head.

"These are your mentors, Mags and Finnick, I'm sure you know of them" She gestured to the two people that I hadn't even noticed enter the compartment. I nodded and waved slightly with my right hand.

Mags waved back. She was a small lady with long white hair and crinkles appeared around her eyes whenever she smiled.

Finnick Odair looked exactly as he did in pictures, if not better. Tall and undeniably handsome, his smile looked like he could charm a girl into bed the second the thought crossed his mind. He had dirty blonde hair that looked permanently windswept, although perfectly so.

I had to learn a lot from this man. I silently realised as I watched him. I could charm people politely, complimenting them and such. But Finnick won his games because a sponsor loved him so much they sent him the exact weapon that he needed - his trident. I needed to make my sponsors adore me that much.

Thinking about it, I needed everyone to adore me that much, even the other tributes. If that would make them hesitate even the slightest bit in the arena then it would be worth it.

Finnick's sea foam green-blue eyes met my bright ones and he quirked an eyebrow. I let the corner of my mouth twitch before looking away, sweeping my long blonde hair away from my face.

"Children, why don't you introduce yourselves? It's only polite" Marigold scolded us and looked encouragingly at Jace.

"I'm Jace" he said, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms.

"And?" Marigold prompted, sitting down on an empty seat facing us. Finnick and Mags looked on, apparently mildly amused.

"And I trained at the academy" he said, offering no more information than that. Marigold sighed, apparently giving up on him and looked at me instead.

"I'm Felicity" I said, "but everyone calls me Flick"

"Well that's not very ladylike!" Marigold interrupted, seemingly appalled.

"We shall only be referring to you as Felicity I'm afraid, the people of the Captiol would _never_ sponsor someone with a name like _Flick_"

I raised my eyes to the ceiling, praying for patience so that I wouldn't criticise her name in turn.

"I didn't train at the academy" I said, slumping back in my chair.

"Why?" Finnick asked curiously.

I shrugged, "None of my family has" he nodded and went quiet again. Mags just smiled at us. Her smile was infectious, she was very likable for a quiet person.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

"Well children, help yourselves to food and drinks, I'll show you your sleeping quarters in just a moment, I have to speak with the escort of District 2" she stood up, wobbling precariously in her ridiculously high, pointy shoes.

"What do you mean sleeping quarters?" I asked, confused.

"Why we still have eight other Districts to pass through!" She exclaimed, shocked that I didn't know this information.

"Two reapings a day and then half a day travel home. You are to stay on the train at all times, we don't want to lose you somewhere in another district!"

She tottered off.

Mags stood up too. She signed something to Finnick who nodded and she patted him lightly on the shoulder before leaving the compartment after Marigold. I didn't like the hiss of the compartment door as it opened and closed, it was unnerving.

However, a plan had started to form in my head as I looked Finnick up and down discretely when he stood up to get a cream cake from the food table. Jace was staring at the floor, scowling, so he didn't notice either.

This man had an easy grace about him. He seemed to know the exact effect that he had on everyone around him so that he could play them like an instrument. I needed that. He was my mentor, he could teach me that.

He turned back around and caught me staring. I gritted my teeth in a futile effort not to blush slightly. He leaned casually against the table behind him, seeming quite stable as the train sped along the tracks - unlike Marigold had been.

He grinned and took some of the cream from the cake in his hand and licked it off of his finger before winking at me. I rolled my eyes and looked away. His grin widened.

"I'm going to go look around" Jace said grumpily, standing up and leaving the compartment through the door behind me, the opposite way to Marigold. The door hissed horribly again.

The minute the pair of us were alone I rounded on him.

"I need you to teach me" I said quickly, not caring about how strange I might sound. Finnick looked taken aback.

"Excuse me?" he asked, curiously, licking more cream from his cake.

"You won your hunger games because you made everyone in the Capitol fall in love with you, I need you to teach me how to do that" I explained fervently, wanting to finish this conversation before Marigold came back.

Finnick chuckled. "Darling, you don't even know what you're asking for"

"Yes, I do" I said firmly, leaning forwards and locking my eyes onto his so that he knew I was perfectly serious.

"You might have to do things you don't like" he said, putting down his cake and looking me up and down, tapping his fingers on his cheek thoughtfully.

"I'll do anything you tell me" I said in the same firm manner.

"You see, it's not something I'm sure I can teach..." his voice drifted off thoughtfully.

"Please Finnick, try" I implored, biting my lip nervously. This was my best shot at winning, I needed his help.

"Fine, but I'm making no promises" he conceded, holding up his hands and pushing himself off of the table.

"I'm not asking you to" I assured him, a smile finding its way onto my face.

"We'll start tomorrow when we arrive at District five" he said, standing up and walking to the door of the compartment.

"Six a.m. My room, don't be late" he left the compartment and passed Marigold on her way back in.

"Follow me then Felicity, I'll show you where your room is. Where is Jace?" She asked, looking around as though he might have been hiding under a table.

"He left" I said simply, standing up and following her through the compartment door.

Marigold showed me my room, it was small but luckily had a window. A bathroom that was even smaller joined onto it containing a shower, a sink and a toilet. The colour scheme was grey and darker grey, nothing like the colourful bedroom I had back home.

I didn't ask to see anything else on the train, I knew that I would have plenty of time to explore it over the next few days. Instead I thanked Marigold before she bustled off to find Jace and laid down on the overly soft bed. I hated how comfortable it was. Slowly, I felt the stress of the day weighing on me and let my eyes slide shut as I fell asleep - still fully dressed.

A few hours later I awoke with a start. Forgetting temporarily where I was I looked around in a panic before taking a few deep breaths to calm down. The train wasn't moving so I assumed we had stopped in District five for their reaping in the afternoon. The loud hiss of the door opening made me wince as I approached it.

The corridor I found myself in was deserted. I saw a few more doors leading into what must be Jace, Marigold, Finnick and Mags' respective rooms. All the way at the other end was a metal door with a large three printed in black on it. District three's compartment. I chose to walk back to the food cart to grab something to eat.

To my disappointment there was nothing like normal sandwiches or even normal bread for that matter. The Capitol had decided to treat us by only offering lavish cakes and pastries, trifles and various other desserts in amongst vol-au-vents and escargot. I wrinkled my nose at the over-complicated looking dishes and instead chose to dip my hand into a bowl of strawberries - the only normal food that seemed to be available. I ate a handful as I sat alone in the compartment, idly wondering where everyone else was.

Jace appeared a few minutes after I had finished eating and made me jump as I had been daydreaming.

"Hi" I said, uncertainly. He nodded at me.

"Hi"

"What do you think of the train?" I asked, trying to start a conversation.

"It's okay I guess" he shrugged and sat down opposite me.

"How about you?"

"It's very grey" I answered, looking around unhappily. He chuckled and held out a hand.

"We haven't officially met" he said, smiling, "I'm Jace"

"Flick" I said, smiling back and shaking his hand.

"Nice to meet you" I joked.

"Well, not so nice considering the circumstances" he joked back. The conversation was cheerful and light-hearted and made me feel ten times better than I had been feeling before. I couldn't help feeling - as we laughed together - that just maybe, Jace might turn out to be an ally.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hiya! Third chapter :) unedited, I'll go back and do that later :) please review! :)

Chapter 3:

I didn't understand Jace's cold attitude towards Mags, Marigold and Finnick when he was perfectly pleasant on his own. However, I never questioned him on it and merely accepted his stony facade whenever anyone else walked into the room.

I didn't feel like eating very much at dinner so I excused myself early from the table, leaving behind the semi-awkward silence in the room and going to bed. It was comfortable but not comfortable enough to allow me to sleep straight away. I laid awake for hours, picking at my fingers and chewing my lower lip, thinking about what could possibly happen to me in the games. What sort of arena they would have this year, whether my plan to get sponsors would work.

I stared up into the pitch black for a long, long time and didn't even notice myself fall asleep. I awoke to the sound of the alarm that I had set on my bedside, five-thirty. So that I would be showered and dressed by the time I went into Finnick's room at six.

I climbed into the shower sleepy and disgruntled. Why did he want me there at six anyway, I had the whole day to waste on this horribly gray train.

The warm water both woke me up and put me in a cheerier mood. It didn't matter that it was stupidly early, what mattered was Finnick had agreed to my idea and to be honest, I couldn't wait to start, I needed all the advice that I could get.

I padded along the corridor quietly and winced at the loud hissing of his bedroom door when I stopped outside of it. I would never get used to that.

Finnick sat up in bed, startled, looking confused and rubbing his face. I became acutely aware of his lack of shirt. He obviously kept himself in shape after his games.

"I-I'm sorry" I stuttered, trying to keep my eyes off of his body and instead stared around the immaculate room.

"I can come back later" I walked backwards a step.

"No, no it's fine" he smiled, sleepiness evident in his voice.

"Just give me a sec to get changed" he hopped out of bed with surprising agility considering how tired he looked and walked into his bathroom, grabbing some clothes on the way. Once the door shut I made my way over to his bed, taking hold of a corner and starting to make it neat.

When he returned I was sat on the newly made bed with my hands in my lap, picking at my fingers. He looked mildly surprised when I looked up, thankfully he had put on a shirt.

"Okay, so" he said, running a hand through his messy hair and sitting down next to me on the bed, but not so close that I felt uncomfortable.

"I'm not entirely sure where to start" he admitted, looking at me. I shrugged and waited.

"Well I guess" he sighed, "I guess the first step to making these people love you is learning to be charming. You need to be able to convince them that the sky is green if you say it is, do you see what I mean?"

"Kinda?" I replied, only half understanding his point.

"Okay well, we'll work towards that, first of all we're going to master compliments"

"I know how to compliment someone" I deadpanned, looking at him with raised eyebrows.

"No, you think you do" he corrected, "we'll work on wording first, then on delivery" he turned to face me on the bed, crossing his legs and giving me a look that told me to mirror his movements.

I rolled my eyes and followed his example, facing him dead on.

"You can't be serious about this" I said incredulously, "I can compliment someone!"

"Compliment me then" he said seriously, looking me dead in the eye.

"Um-" his eyes were the most curious mixture of blue and green, looking turquoise in the light.

"You have nice eyes" I said honestly.

He shook his head without smiling, "that was terrible, try again"

"How was that terrible?!" I asked, offended.

"First of all, you had to think about it for too long, secondly you didn't try and word right - which is always important, thirdly-"

"Okay, okay" I said, holding up my hands. "I can't compliment properly"

He looked smug. "No, you can't"

"Show me then" I said, leaning forwards a little.

He chuckled, leaning forwards too and catching a strand of my hair. He tucked it behind my ear and let his fingers linger there a second too long.

"You know" he said in a slightly husky voice as he let his fingers trace light patterns over one of my wrists that rested in my lap.

"I have never seen anyone with eyes like yours" his eyes never wavered from mine as his voice dropped a fraction lower, sounding more sultry and secretive.

"In fact I'd go as far as to say" I barely registered him leaning even closer to me.

"That you" he smelled of the ocean, like home. "Have the most stunning eyes that I've ever seen" he whispered in my ear.

I bit my lip and fought to hold in a shiver. Okay, so he was right, there was a proper way to compliment someone.

He leant back with a grin. "See?" He asked, smugness leaking into his tone.

"Mhm" I grumbled unhappily. "I doubt there'll be time for me to do that to the entire Captiol population though"

"No" he agreed, looking thoughtful. "We'll save that particular tactic for the people who matter, as for the population, you'll have to convince them through your interview, that means being very complimentary of the fashion styles and the beauty of the city - and Caesar, the host as well"

"Right" I stored all of this information into my memory.

"Okay, so I want you to try again" he said, bringing me back to the point of why I was here.

My following attempts were barely better than the first. Apparently I was trying to hard and then not hard enough. Finnick wanted me to tell him what I would say rather than how I would say it, we would move on to that when I knew what I was saying.

We decided to call it quits after an hour and a half so that we could get some breakfast and maybe reconvene in the afternoon.


End file.
